I have another dilemma. This one has faced me before also. During much of the year I work on commission pieces. Other people tell me what to paint and the I do the work to there specifications. It's safe. It's wonderful to get paid for what I love to do. But when I am faced with the question of painting something on my own I am sometimes at a loss. 
   What do I want to paint? It's harder than some might think. I always seem to have the internal dialog of others in my head. It is hard to paint the things I am interested in when sometimes I don't even know what that is. Is this something I want to paint or is this something someone else said I should paint?
   There's also the question of why? Why do I want to paint this? Is it to please someone else? Is it because I am trying to prove a point? Or maybe I just want to see if I can portray the way the light shines through my blinds?
   I still have some commission work left to do, but I am getting antsy to start a new body of my own work. 
   There are so many directions to choose from and so much that I am interested in. I will continue to ask myself the what and why questions and let you know what I come up with.
Thanks for listening.